# Wife support



## Mightywetfoot (Dec 5, 2007)

I need some advice on how to convince my wife I am not going overboard and to be 90% supportive of the project. I am planning what I believe to be a reasonable project with a modest room size, home built speakers, and listening to her advice when she didn't want to see any of the speakers. She believes that since I have been reading the forums I have become an audio snob, and I am spending way too much on the speakers. Speakers that I wouldn't be able to discern from cheaper speaker choices. The speakers are estimated to be about ~$2000 in drivers, crossovers, subs, and amps for a 5.1 system. While I admit there are cheaper options, but the quality to price ratio is very good. Have you been in this situation before and if so how did you turn your spouse around so they are more supportive and understanding. 

Matt


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## sparky77 (Feb 22, 2008)

I wasn't able to convince her of anything until it was finally set up and she got to hear the system. Good luck convincing a woman of anything......


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## nholmes1 (Oct 7, 2010)

Best way I have seen, used or helped customers to use is to either get some of her favorite music or movies and bring them with to an audition. Obviously with DIY speakers it will be harder but you could take her to an audio shop and play some cheap speakers vs better speakers, especially with movies it quickly becomes apparent on a quality difference. The notebook is a great demo movie for women, the rain scene always seems to evoke plenty of emotions when played back on a good system.


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## Guest (Apr 2, 2011)

What speaker project did you have in mind? Do you really want/need high end HT, or did you want it for music?

While I think it is important to go for what you want, not doing anything your wife wants might cause more trouble then its worth.

If she doesn't want to see speakers, maybe you could use these. http://emotiva.com/uaw62.shtm


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## bucky925 (Sep 13, 2009)

I NEVER EVER used the works "man cave" always used home theater. I told her what I had planned and let her do the decorations (paint scheme, do dads) she was 100% behind the project after that.


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## hearingspecialist (Mar 15, 2010)

If one of us could come up with a fool proof solution for our audio obsession and the wife factor:dontknow:...they would be very wealthy!!!

One wise person older than I suggested that for every dollar spent on audio, you spend $2 on jewelry for her (2 to 1 ratio). Holy smokes!!! I'm dead broke then:spend:


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## jaymz (Feb 8, 2011)

My wife and I have an unspoken understanding: she can decorate most of the house as she likes (although we have to compromise on major projects cuz I get stuck with the carpentry, tiling, electrical, etc), but I get to do my own thing with my side of the bedroom (bedroom HT; some car stuff) and the HT room in the basement. I *LIKE *to see the techie electronics, Def Tech tower speakers, cinema and music artwork, other "manly" stuff. She has her own 47" TV and DD HT in the living room, so it's not like she's being deprived. It's kinda, "Mind you own business...you have your space and I have mine." She *DID* admit that she liked my new three-head ceiling spotlight fixture I installed last week, however. 

We've been married 39 yrs.

Jim


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## smurphy522 (Sep 21, 2010)

Matt,
Have to say the most effective way to get approval/support would be to have her accompany you on a listening audition. Even though you are planning the DIY thing let her "help" you decide what style the speakers should be like. A metal or fabric tweeter variation perhaps or a large tower or bookshelves? What ever the variance let her have a little say - even if not really, should go further then lots of other ways to bribe her. Get them involved any way possible is you best bet.


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## tonyvdb (Sep 5, 2007)

smurphy522 said:


> Get them involved any way possible is you best bet.


Thats very wise advice, make them feel like part of the decision does matter to them and as others have said take her to a friends house or maybe a member from here who has a theater room and let her hear the difference between a quality setup and an budget one.


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## artinaz (Jul 31, 2008)

+1 on getting her involved. Also, when you get the praises for your HT down the line, make sure to acknowledge her role. 

For now, a good demo to demonstrate what a good system is capable of is a good start.


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## crystal (Apr 11, 2011)

all of you were talk about the wife's. That me turns to my boyfriend. He is the one who will fall into sleep after he sit for 10min. That so disappoint that I always enjoy my favor alone. But that's ok as he never force me to play computer games with him. So we are enjoy ourselves alone.


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## netbui (Jan 9, 2010)

Matt,

Tell her there's another woman down the street who keeps inviting you over to watch movies on her awesome home theater but you told her "NO" because you have a great home theater at your house that you'll be building for you and your wife! Let me know how that goes over! LOL.

Dave Bui


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## Wardsweb (Apr 2, 2010)

Most all things in marriage are about negociation, compromise or just understanding. I'm sure she has things she's into. You spend some time and money on your passion and so does she. It's a give and take and hardly ever one sided. You get a home theater, what does she get?


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## Mightywetfoot (Dec 5, 2007)

Thanks to everyone for their help. My wife and I sat down and had a talk, she expressed her concern about the DIY project due to all the time that would be required to make these. After much deliberation we decided to forgo the DIY and purchase a set of inwall speakers that we both were happy with.

L & R Klipsch KL-6502
Center Klipsch KL-6504
Surround Klipsch KS-7800


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## MatrixDweller (Jul 24, 2007)

That's what (a good) marriage is about...consideration, communication and compromise. The three C's.


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## gorb (Sep 5, 2010)

MatrixDweller said:


> That's what (a good) marriage is about...consideration, communication and compromise. The three C's.


I'd say that goes for relationships in general, not just marriage.

Mightywetfoot, it's unfortunate that you weren't able to go the DIY route you wanted, but as long as you are both happy with the solution you came up with, then it's all good


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## jazboy (Jan 12, 2011)

Probably the best option will be asking question from her. Ask her whether we would be able to use its full potentials or not. If not then there is no point of putting that much money. Convince her that we can use saved money on some other work. 
But changing wife's mind is tough task. Good luck :T


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## gdstupak (Jul 13, 2010)

I guess I'm lucky with my situation.
Both me and the wife waited til we were older to get married so we were both already good at independant living and supporting ourselves. She makes her money and I make mine. As long as I have enough money to pay my share of the bills, she doesn't care how much I spend and what I spend it on.

She knew I was into big boxy audio/video stuff from the beginning of our relationship and she doesn't try to change that about me. Even though she never complained about big speakers, I made a compromise by going with in-ceiling speakers for the surrounds.


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## Mark Techer (Jan 17, 2008)

I too am quite lucky to have a partner (soon to be wife) who appreciates the Home Cinema. The cool part about our relationships and HT is she will often ask "So, what are we watching tonight?"


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## Mightywetfoot (Dec 5, 2007)

Our biggest issue is the theater is currently a secondary concern, in our house we really don't the space. Our main hobby is Halloween. I do want to do the DIY option for speakers but it will have to be later when I have time. We want to get the theater up and running by mid May. Oh we did not pay retail for those speakers either. My wife really is more of a video gamer and not so much into movies, so its harder for her to understand the need for theater.


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## WooferHound (Dec 8, 2010)

Do you want some Haunted House soundtracks that I have produced
I would send them to you free of charge
http://wooferhound.home.mindspring.com/haunt.htm


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## gdstupak (Jul 13, 2010)

Mightywetfoot said:


> My wife really is more of a video gamer and not so much into movies, so its harder for her to understand the need for theater.


Great audio and video capabilities really enhance the gaming experience.
Has she ever done it (gaming) in a theater? That may be the selling point for you. Unless that aspect of the gaming doesn't excite her.


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## Mark Techer (Jan 17, 2008)

gdstupak said:


> Great audio and video capabilities really enhance the gaming experience.
> Has she ever done it (gaming) in a theater? That may be the selling point for you. Unless that aspect of the gaming doesn't excite her.


So does gaming on a big screen front projection system. Flat panels don't even come a close 2nd IMO.


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## Mightywetfoot (Dec 5, 2007)

WooferHound said:


> Do you want some Haunted House soundtracks that I have produced
> I would send them to you free of charge
> http://wooferhound.home.mindspring.com/haunt.htm


Thanks Wooferhound, I will check them out!


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## Mightywetfoot (Dec 5, 2007)

Mark Techer said:


> So does gaming on a big screen front projection system. Flat panels don't even come a close 2nd IMO.


Our room is too small for a projector. I do have a feeling the 360 and PS3 will all end up down there for her game playing.


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## Picture_Shooter (Dec 23, 2007)

Married for over 14 yrs. I honestly just go buy it on a reasonable budget and surprise her. She was at the end OK with it and knew it was costly, but w/ me doing the work, installing it. I came out ahead.

This time around, I will have a man-cave (build a house w/ media room) which she has no say so of what I do to it or the style . Only thing she requested is that I have the man-cave on the opposite side of the house from the master bedroom


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## Picture_Shooter (Dec 23, 2007)

crystal said:


> all of you were talk about the wife's. That me turns to my boyfriend. He is the one who will fall into sleep after he sit for 10min. That so disappoint that I always enjoy my favor alone. But that's ok as he never force me to play computer games with him. So we are enjoy ourselves alone.


That's pretty wild. 
Try to say this to your boyfriend when you two are about to watch a movie

"No booty, until after the movie!!"

And see if he'll change that habit. If he declines or still goes to sleep, he maybe can be a fruit  

~ You have no idea how hard it was for me to watch some of them movies my wife selected, but at the end, I got'z minez!! :T:dumbcrazy::sn:


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## Drumzerbe (Jul 20, 2009)

I must be fortunate but my wife LOVES great sound and particularly good bass! 

When I started to purchase my M&K S150 set up I initially purchased the right and left with No Sub ( although I had intentions of buying the MX350 MkII). I set them up, put her in the sweet spot and put on her Favorite Norah Jones CD. She was blown away with the clarity. Then I put on some Peter Gabriel and her response was " Where is all the bass?". !! I told her that a sub woofer was required and that I had one picked out that would pair well with the 150s. She asked about the center and surrounds for movies etc. and I explained we would need a new amplifier. To shorten the story she bought into the Denon 5803 AVR, the MX350 MkII, S150 center, SS150 surrounds and the ST1 speaker stands for the r & l. Now here is the kicker: ALL OF THIS SITS IN OUR LIVING ROOM!!! And, in the seven years we've owned they system there isn't a week that goes by where she doesn't make a positive statement about the sound. In fact, she refuses to watch TV with the built in speakers!

Bottom line for me was get her hip to the sound, be honest about the price and then get buying!! GOOD LUCK!


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