# I take it most of you guys are not married



## the_diyr (Sep 16, 2009)

My wife has threatened me fro day one about 2 years ago when I built my DIY projector from lumenlab.. Now my new HT project is putting her over the edge .. she made me throw away my projector when we moved and now yell's constantly when I talk speakers or Home theater.. So I take it the Guys with the really nice theater equipment must be single ... Well I been married 13 years so she is not going anywhere and as for the home theater project I am just going to do it and take a chewin... if wasn't for going out of town with her mom we would still be watching a 32 inch tube tv.. I bought the 50 inch rptv while she was gone..


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## Mike P. (Apr 6, 2007)

I married a woman that is into HT as much as I am. It was her idea to add a pair of 18" subs to go with the pair of 15" subs that we already had. I know, she's a keeper! Have you tried "negotiating" with your wife? Something you want in exchange for something she wants?


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## tcarcio (Jun 27, 2007)

Well I have been married for some time now and my wife loves the HTR. She doesn't really care what I do as long as she get's to enjoy the result. Besides thinking I'm a little nut's about it she really encourages the hobby. Sorry.......


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## Wayne A. Pflughaupt (Apr 13, 2006)

It took a while for my wife to get into it - no yelling, but the rolling-eyes thing anytime I wanted some better speakers or cassette deck or something (yes, this goes way back!). Until she came around, Mike's "negotiating" tact worked well: "Tell ya what, let me get these speakers and you can get that new china set you've been wanting" - something like that. Win win, everyone got what they wanted so everyone was happy!

Of course, if all else fails you can always try a little "subterfuge." I learned a long time ago that people have limits to their own bad behavior and habits - i.e., how much of it they'll put up with themselves. All you have to do is exceed their own threshold and you will get their attention.

For instance, let's say you're dealing with someone who has a habit of throwing their underwear on the bathroom floor, while you're the tidy type who always throws his in the hamper. Well, just start leaving not only your underwear, but your socks, and maybe any dirty clothes you take off on the bathroom floor. Not all at once, of course, that would be obvious. Like I said, "subterfuge."  Just gradually increase your mess over a period of a few weeks. When the person in question sees that you're making more of a mess than they can live with, they'll start complaining. That's when you say, "Yeah, I guess I have been getting to be a slob lately. Tell ya what, I'll make it a point to keep my clothes picked up if you'll keep your underwear picked up." That'll take care of it! If you notice later on that they start getting lax, you can return to your "bad habits" as well. 

Of course, every case is different - you'll have to assess the best way to go about "outdoing" whatever it is that needs to change.

In the case of your wife, if the negotiating tact doesn't work try doing what she does, only worse. She howls about the big TV or receiver? You howl about any knick-knack she brings home for the shelves: "It's ugly." "It doesn't match anything else you have up there." "It matches everything else you have up there, it's getting monotonous." She brings home a new electric can opener for the kitchen to replace the broken one? "It's too big." "It's too small." "I don't like the color." "They didn't have a more contemporary style than that?" When she raises objections to your complaining about everything, that's when you mention her complaining about the HT gear.

Or maybe even better: You're into HT - what is she into? Surely she's into _something _that costs money. Does she collect something? Like to buy new shoes every week whether she needs them or not? Maybe you could say, "Sure the new receiver will cost $XXX, but I'll be able to use it for four years. That averages out to only $XXX over the four years. This (fill in the blank) you're spending money on week after week, over the same period will cost $XXX, which is way more. So what's the problem?"

Or, if it's not so much the money as it is the "blight" on the living room, same thing: "Well, those ceramic clowns you collect take way more space in here than my speakers. And they're not really all that attractive, if you ask me. But if you let me get some better speakers, I wouldn't object if you wanted to put another shelf of clowns over there." (Of course, if you've already made the mistake of telling her that you love her clowns, you'll have to find something else to make an issue of!  )

Oh yes, here's another line I like: "Hey, I live here, too."

Well, there's my advice. That and a dime won't get you a divorce lawyer. :laugh:

Another option: Is it possible to set up your own space in a spare bedroom or something?

Regards,
Wayne


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## ironglen (Mar 4, 2009)

I wish my wife wasn't sleeping right now- I nearly bust-a-gut holding my laughter in!!! :rofl: I too am fortunate in that my wife LOVES the ht- but I'm careful to not turn it up beyond HER comfort zone while watching. She is rather uninterested in the process/hobby, but she knows it takes time and knowledge to do it right as I've made it clear that this is tricky stuff, not to be taken lightly or else this :spend: may happen with little benefit. Wayne's post may come in handy sometime-I've only been married a couple years:whistling:


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## JimP (May 18, 2006)

Wayne A. Pflughaupt said:


> It took a while for my wife to get into it - no yelling, but the rolling-eyes thing anytime I wanted some better speakers or cassette deck or something (yes, this goes way back!). Until she came around, Mike's "negotiating" tact worked well: "Tell ya what, let me get these speakers and you can get that new china set you've been wanting" - something like that. Win win, everyone got what they wanted so everyone was happy!
> 
> Of course, if all else fails you can always try a little "subterfuge." I learned a long time ago that people have limits to their own bad behavior and habits - i.e., how much of it they'll put up with themselves. All you have to do is exceed their own threshold and you will get their attention.
> 
> ...


I think before I'd do all that, I'd just upgrade the wife. :rofl2: Maybe that's why I'm still single.


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## dradius (Sep 10, 2008)

I'm married. We have a nice arrangement, I keep my speakers and junk out of the upstairs living room, and she lets me do whatever the hell I want in the basement. I can't believe she made you throw away your LL PJ :rubeyes: I can't imagine my wife ever doing (or trying to do) something like that.


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## glaufman (Nov 25, 2007)

I'm married too. At first my wife just indulged me becuase I had roughly the same HT setup in my apartment that I set up when we were dating, b4 she thought what she said mattered... It was a, love me, love my HT thing... then as she more and more discovered that the experience in the HT was better than in a real theater, she stsarrted encouraging me to make improvements any time I mentioned something... she hates when other people in the theater talk during the movie, or a kid kicking her chair, or a tall person sitting in front of her, or the sticky floor, or someone chewing popcorn with their mouth open... She actually preferes watching in the home theater now, and is encouraging me to add a sub with some money I've been scraping together...

So, along the same lines as Wayne's suggestions (which I've successfully used in other situations, he's spot on), take her to the movies, make sure she has a lousy time (not becaus of the movie selection), and repeat, and then point out how much better it is to watch movies from your own HT...


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## akan101 (Sep 14, 2009)

JimP said:


> I think before I'd do all that, I'd just upgrade the wife. :rofl2: Maybe that's why I'm still single.


This would be the best solution for all married guys here..... :innocent:


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## tonyvdb (Sep 5, 2007)

I'm married as well and have 5 daughters:rubeyes: My Wife has tolerated my HT hobby to a point but "the upgrading has to stop" she has said recently but still let me upgrade the projector to a newer one. The HT is in the basement and she does not go down there unless doing laundry or we watch a movie.


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## the_diyr (Sep 16, 2009)

On the projector thing the main reason I had to throw it away was that the thing was huge ..It had a 400 watt metal halide bulb in it and computer fans all around it .. And I told her since we were moving I would have an extra bedroom to put it in .. Well I had to choose between my other project or the projector .. So the 350 Big Bear 4 wheeler came with us and the projector stayed behind..


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## DougMac (Jan 24, 2008)

I'm lucky. We've been married 39 years now. It was my wife who encouraged me to finish out the unfinished half of the basement and put in a home theater. Our only disagreement is I tend to overload on foreign films with subtitles; sometimes she wants to watch mindless entertainment that doesn't take the active viewing required by subtitles.

She's always claimed she has a tin ear and I have some evidence to back up her claim. I played her an A/B test between a poorly mastered LP version of "Memphis Underground" and a remastered CD version. She could hardly tell the substantial difference. The home theater is a different matter. She remarked how much clearer the dialogue is on the HT compared to regular TVs and even the cinema. Also, I used an Infinity 10" servo sub for over 20 years. For it's age, it wasn't bad at all, much better than the normal offering for the time. Deb would fuss about the bass making her ears hurt. I bought an SVS PB-12 NSD for the HT. Initially it sounded less impressive, but that was because it was much smoother and didn't have the one note hump of the Infinity. Deb likes it much better, she doesn't complain about the bass anymore.


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## glaufman (Nov 25, 2007)

the_diyr said:


> On the projector thing the main reason I had to throw it away was that the thing was huge ..It had a 400 watt metal halide bulb in it and computer fans all around it .. And I told her since we were moving I would have an extra bedroom to put it in .. Well I had to choose between my other project or the projector .. So the 350 Big Bear 4 wheeler came with us and the projector stayed behind..


Hmmmmmmmm not really sure you made the right choice there...


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## Jon Liu (May 21, 2007)

I am married and have a 2.5 year old daughter!


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## recruit (May 9, 2009)

A mans got to do what a mans got a do...:whistling:

:hide:


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## ironglen (Mar 4, 2009)

glaufman said:


> I'm married too. At first my wife just indulged me becuase I had roughly the same HT setup in my apartment that I set up when we were dating, b4 she thought what she said mattered... It was a, love me, love my HT thing... then as she more and more discovered that the experience in the HT was better than in a real theater, she stsarrted encouraging me to make improvements any time I mentioned something... she hates when other people in the theater talk during the movie, or a kid kicking her chair, or a tall person sitting in front of her, or the sticky floor, or someone chewing popcorn with their mouth open... She actually preferes watching in the home theater now, and is encouraging me to add a sub with some money I've been scraping together...
> 
> So, along the same lines as Wayne's suggestions (which I've successfully used in other situations, he's spot on), take her to the movies, make sure she has a lousy time (not becaus of the movie selection), and repeat, and then point out how much better it is to watch movies from your own HT...


Now, THIS is slick. I gotta go to the movies a -bit- more to refresh her memory. :rofl: She reviles the very points you mentioned; absolutely ruins her evening:rofl::rofl:


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## robbo266317 (Sep 22, 2008)

I married late (42) and we just had our 10th anniversary.
I can buy anything I want for my system, Unless she finds out. :whistling:


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## the_rookie (Sep 30, 2008)

Im married too, the wife complains that I spend more time and money on it than I do her.

Well it would be the case if she took as good care of me as the HT did... >_>

The HT provides me a place to be when shes mad at me, or when work was bad. Not to mention hours of entertainment. She on the other hand...makes me want to be with the HT. :T

But on a more serious note, she is half and half on it. She complains about not seeing newer movies, but with Netflix now, we can get more stuff than before. And with the "" streaming it provides on my 360, its marginal performance is enough to entertain us. But some stuff is actually good. Just got to cross your fingers.

She doesn't get why we need so many speakers. But thats women for you. 

On a side note, I got some banana plugs for the Set-up, it should make it much more of a breeze to hook-up and disassemble in the future. (Thank god for mono-price)


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## BrianAbington (Mar 19, 2008)

I've been married for just over 2 years and 3months and have a 15 month old son. 

As long as our bills are paid and our other needs are met my wife says she will be ok with me building a theater when we buy a house. 

However she has told me that she wants nothing to do with the process...this is good and bad at the same time. This gives me alot of freedom in the design, and I can put my hands to work. 

However she cannot visualize a finished product. 
When we have looked at potential houses to buy I show her how alittle bit of work, some updates...maybe moving some stuff around to make a room bigger...she can't visualize it and she gets up set. 
Something about unfinished construction makes her upset. My friend and his wife have been doing a live in full remodel for about 6 years now, and as she see's things he described to us years ago being done and something dosn't click.

I talk with my father in law about a man cave for their un finished basement and she gets frustrated by the bare framed walls and has to leave the basement. 

Its weird but thats just the way her mind works.

I like the threads on here showing the whole thing from bare room to finished theater. It gives her a good idea of what the potential could be. She sees that it adds close to 100% of whats invested back to the home value. 

One good sign is that she one day did a calculation comparing what we spend on admission and concessions at the theater...a home theater pays for it self rather quickly. 

When it comes time to start a build I will have to aim a bit high on my budget so that she will be very happy with me when I come in way under budget.


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## Mike P. (Apr 6, 2007)

> When it comes time to start a build I will have to aim a bit high on my budget so that she will be very happy with me when I come in way under budget.


Good one!


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## JimP (May 18, 2006)

SQCherokee said:


> When it comes time to start a build I will have to aim a bit high on my budget so that she will be very happy with me when I come in way under budget.


It probably a good idea to budget a bit high so if anything, you wind up on budget.

One thing a friend of mine did was buy too much of his gear at the beginning of construction. Construction took much more time than expected (bad contractor). By the time his room was complete, his gear was already a little dated. Just as a suggestion, hold off buying electronics till you can see that you're almost done with everything else.


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## Vido (Jul 21, 2009)

Mike P. said:


> I married a woman that is into HT as much as I am. It was her idea to add a pair of 18" subs to go with the pair of 15" subs that we already had. I know, she's a keeper! Have you tried "negotiating" with your wife? Something you want in exchange for something she wants?


You're lucky man :R



Well, I'm not married (i'm just 17) but i like HT, speakers, amps etc. and my main source of complains is my mother, she just cant's stand big speaker boxes (i had one 115l subwoofer box in 10m^2 room once ) and she always complains when I have idea to make some new speakers or something like that. She also can't stand loud sounds so she complains about that either


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## panaman (Dec 16, 2008)

my wife doesn't like home theater either.. she hates speakers everywhere and likes to keep things simple.....

Thas why I have a "Man Cave"


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## the_diyr (Sep 16, 2009)

Here is my projector log at lumenlab that got me in so much trouble a while back .. The projector almost caused a divorce..
http://www.lumenlab.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=23579


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## glaufman (Nov 25, 2007)

ironglen said:


> Now, THIS is slick. I gotta go to the movies a -bit- more to refresh her memory. :rofl: She reviles the very points you mentioned; absolutely ruins her evening:rofl::rofl:


Just make sure not to do those things in your own HT...


robbo266317 said:


> I married late (42) and we just had our 10th anniversary.
> I can buy anything I want for my system, Unless she finds out. :whistling:


I too, am King of my Castle................. when she's not around..............


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## the_diyr (Sep 16, 2009)

I just have to say this.. " I am so sick of Lifetime i could puke" does your wife hog the remote.. I just wondered// and I refuse to go watch the little 32 inch tv in the bedroom


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## Richard W. Haines (Jul 9, 2007)

Why would you assume that? Everyone in my family (wife, sister, parents) are 
film buffs which is not surprising since I'm a film-maker and showman since I 
was a kid. I started showing Super 8 sound features back in the seventies 
then projected 16mm and later 35mm Technicolor prints and finally standard 
DVD then HD DVD and Blu-Ray in the screening room to everyone. Every 
weekend we have a screeening with the Optoma HD70 projected onto 
the 10 foot wide screen of some movie be it Blu-Ray or HD DVD or
standard DVD or 35mm. No one in my extended family goes to cinemas anymore.
I provide the 'show' in the screening room every weekend for many, many years.
It's expected of me. This includes not only the movie but shorts, cartoons, posters,
pressbooks and programs on display. A mini Repertory cinema long the lines of the
defuct "Elgin", "Regency" and "Carnegie Hall Cinema" from the past.


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## glaufman (Nov 25, 2007)

Richard W. Haines said:


> Why would you assume that? Everyone in my family (wife, sister, parents) are
> film buffs which is not surprising since I'm a film-maker and showman since I
> was a kid. I started showing Super 8 sound features back in the seventies
> then projected 16mm and later 35mm Technicolor prints and finally standard
> ...


Care to adopt another family member?


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## Richard W. Haines (Jul 9, 2007)

Can't afford it.


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## BrianAbington (Mar 19, 2008)

the_diyr said:


> I just have to say this.. " I am so sick of Lifetime i could puke"


I grew up watching Mystery science theater 3000 and I have to try really really really hard to not make fun of lifetime movies.

However one time I was watching a lifetime movie with my wife that made her cry. 

Through her tears she asked me "dosn't this make you sad?" 

I replied "yes." 

she then asked "what about it makes you sad?"

To which I replied...
"The fact that somebody on the other side of the camera said 'cut! that was great!'


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## the_diyr (Sep 16, 2009)

Adding to the craziness..Today my wife is sick .. I watched the Saint whoop some donkey.. Then New England ... So now I decide to hook up an old 15 inch car sub that I had in the closet just to see what would happen .. I hooked it to an old plate amp off of a magnovox powered sub .. About 75 watts.. And then I ran a sweeping bass test .. The 10 inch powered yamaha was ratteling the walls the 15 inch was free air as I gently turned up the volume to my bass test .. All of a sudden my wife comes out of the bedroom and says turn the bass off are when you go to work tonight I am throwing all that stuff in the trash...:yikes: Now I am scared to go to work....:hissyfit:


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## the_diyr (Sep 16, 2009)

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: My tv in the den is 1080i HD hooked up to HDMI, My tv in the bedroom is standered 4:3 tube 32 inch.. Because we have dish network both tv's will sy HD on the screen Right .. So my wife is watching the football game in the bedroom and I am watching it in the den on true HD.. as you know she sees what happens a few second ahead of what I do .. So the chargers score , she screams a fe seconds earlier than me then I yell. She then says I am on the wrong channel and that my tv is messed up because she say it says HD on the bottom of the screen :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: So I try to explain and I get cussed out.. She said it is due to the fact that I screwed up the speakers in the den:nerd::nerd::rofl::rofl::clap::clap::scratch::scratch: WOW !!!!


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## nerdful1 (Dec 5, 2006)

I remember in the 70's when I had a hifi repair store, when people paid for repairing boxes that broke, (like today's closed source computers) that the age of the equipment was +0 - 2years of their marriage date. (Or in honor: Vietnam war age gear our surviving soldiers that bought stuff overseas).
Many wanted a certificate of death on their audio stuff to show the wife to be able to purchase new.


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## BrianAbington (Mar 19, 2008)

nerdful1 said:


> I remember in the 70's when I had a hifi repair store, when people paid for repairing boxes that broke, (like today's closed source computers) that the age of the equipment was +0 - 2years of their marriage date. (Or in honor: Vietnam war age gear our surviving soldiers that bought stuff overseas).
> Many wanted a certificate of death on their audio stuff to show the wife in able to renew.


nerdful1 I think I follow what you said.


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## Wayne A. Pflughaupt (Apr 13, 2006)

diyer, that's some funny stuff! 

A little marital advice: Next time you get the urge to do some subwoofer testing, give your wife the credit card and send her to the mall!

Regards,
Wayne


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## MatrixDweller (Jul 24, 2007)

I've been married for over 8 years now and my wife gives me a little leeway when it come to my HT. She does still control the budget so I can't just go out and splurge on stuff. Pretty much anything in my HT has to be DIY or bought used after selling something else. I sold my coin collection to get my projector, my old receiver to get my current one, my old speakers and a domain name to get new speakers, etc. 

Now she gets to spend indiscriminately on things that she wants though, like a new floor in the living room or a new deck with furniture and a gazebo. Then there's the fact that I brown bag my lunch everyday while she goes out for lunch or orders in pizza several times a week. She'll buy something new to wear quite frequently and her closet is overflowing whereas I buy new clothes when the old ones wear out. The personal spending is quite lop sided in her favor.

Of course this _is_ my fault. I allow her to do this and I enable the behavior. I don't stand up for myself and tell her that I want to manage my paycheck and pay the bills. So how do I fix this?

I need to be assertive and tell her firmly how things are going to be. I need to communicate in an effective and intelligent manner and let her know how I feel. I will not get angry or raise my voice when she tries to argue with me, I will only say how things are going to be done and leave it at that. If she has a problem with something then I will have to take into consideration her complaint and put things into perspective to do a reality check. Certain priorities come first and I can't ignore her needs or she will be unhappy just like I was. I will comprise and demand that she does the same also. Most of all I will talk with her and set goals and plans for the present and future.

So in your case, with your projector, you should have told her how much it meant to you and showed her your build thread. If it took up a lot of space in your living room or where ever you had it then you could compromise and move it somewhere out of sight or build a better enclosure for it. You would have to justify it's value to you currently. If you can't justify it then it might be time to get rid of it.

Going behind her back and buying something expensive that you know she would disapprove of is not going to help anything. You should have told her that you were going to get it, assertively, and you would have to be able to justify it to her. ie: "I am going to buy a new large screen TV. I have $2000 saved up and we've had that old 32" TV for 10 years now. We can move that into the bedroom".

The bottom line is that communication is a key component to a happy marriage.


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## salvasol (Oct 31, 2006)

MatrixDweller said:


> The bottom line is that communication is a key component to a happy marriage.


Communicating before or after the purchase???


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## the_diyr (Sep 16, 2009)

:rofl::rofl::rofl:Communicating before or after the purchase???:rofl::rofl: GOOD ONE


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## MatrixDweller (Jul 24, 2007)

I didn't mean to go all Dr. Phil on y'all. I think I am in need of more help actually.


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## JimP (May 18, 2006)

MatrixDweller,

Man....I feel sorry for you. 

Feel like I ought to send you a subwoofer or something.


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## glaufman (Nov 25, 2007)

Wayne A. Pflughaupt said:


> diyer, that's some funny stuff!
> 
> A little marital advice: Next time you get the urge to do some subwoofer testing, give your wife the credit card and send her to the mall!
> 
> ...


And cancel it before she gets there!:rofl:


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## MatrixDweller (Jul 24, 2007)

JimP said:


> MatrixDweller,
> 
> Man....I feel sorry for you.
> 
> Feel like I ought to send you a subwoofer or something.


That might not pass the WAF :crying:


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## BrianAbington (Mar 19, 2008)

Matrix, I'm not trying to be rude here...and you don't have to answer this if you don't want to. But does your wife make more money than you? I have found with some friends and co workers that if their wife makes more money they sometimes have an attitude of whats yours is mine and whats mine is mine. We as men can do that as well...we tend to be very selfish. However if spending like that is what makes her feel secure there may be no middle ground untill she fully understands how you feel.


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## panaman (Dec 16, 2008)

MatrixDweller said:


> I didn't mean to go all Dr. Phil on y'all. I think I am in need of more help actually.


 dude, I tell you what.... next time she falls asleep, sneak into her purse and get your berry's back addle:


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## MatrixDweller (Jul 24, 2007)

For most of our marriage she has made less but fairly close to what I make. She now makes about the same and will be making more in the future as she is in an excellent job with lots of potential for growth. She just controls the money and has for the past 6 years. Before that it was a shared arrangement. 6 years ago she was on maternity leave and had more time to deal with the bills and what not. She just has not let go since taking over. We make great money, but her needs have kept us in debt with her paycheck to paycheck style of financial management. She spends every last red cent.

It's funny my neighbor just went through a divorce and has to give a good chunk of his paycheck to his ex-wife for child support. He says that he has a lot more money now at the end of the month then he ever had while married even without her income (his wife was a spender too). He said that he had put his foot down in regards to her spending and that was a contributing factor in his divorce. That's something I don't want to happen.

We have talked about it, and how it makes me feel, but nothing has ever gone anywhere. It's not a totally unfair system, just mostly. I don't see my paycheck. I don't have the ability to save for anything major. All my HT gear was bought by selling other items and only used minimal cash on hand or DIYing them. 

It is going to have to change sooner or later or I will go nuts.

*panaman:* If I did that she'd keel haul me.


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## tonyvdb (Sep 5, 2007)

Guy's Lets keep this thread civil, Its starting to turn into a wife bashing fest and thats pushing the forum rules. 
Marriage is about making sacrifices and give and take. We all knew this when we said "I Do"


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## Wayne A. Pflughaupt (Apr 13, 2006)

Wow, Matrix, that really stinks. I think I'd just quit giving her my paycheck. Or if it's an auto-deposit, put a stop on it.

Say, maybe you could just "spend it" before she does - just withdraw it and put it in a savings account that doesn't have her name on it! LOL

Regards,
Wayne


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## MatrixDweller (Jul 24, 2007)

Sorry...didn't know I was crossing any lines. I was just airing my dirty laundry and hoping that I might get supportive answers in return. I don't really have an outlet for this elsewhere.

I do agree that Marriage _should _be about give and take and making sacrifices.


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## panaman (Dec 16, 2008)

MatrixDweller said:


> Sorry...didn't know I was crossing any lines. I was just airing my dirty laundry and hoping that I might get supportive answers in return. I don't really have an outlet for this elsewhere.
> 
> I do agree that Marriage _should _be about give and take and making sacrifices.


interesting.... the guide I read before I got married said something different....
I even put it in a frame for my wife so that she can keep going back to it for reference.


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## Wayne A. Pflughaupt (Apr 13, 2006)

Ah, those were the days... :laugh:

Regards,
Wayne


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## salvasol (Oct 31, 2006)

MatrixDweller said:


> Sorry...didn't know I was crossing any lines. I was just airing my dirty laundry and hoping that I might get supportive answers in return. I don't really have an outlet for this elsewhere.
> 
> I do agree that Marriage _should _be about give and take and making sacrifices.


My advise (even if I'm not the right person to give).....go to a marriage counselor; try to work things out before is to late :innocent:.


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## glaufman (Nov 25, 2007)

salvasol said:


> My advise (even if I'm not the right person to give).....go to a marriage counselor; try to work things out before is to late :innocent:.


+1. Trouble is it's really hard to find one who can be truly objective and help work things out without making one or the other feel they're being ganged up on. My wife and I lucked ou tin that regard, when we went through a rough patch really due ot noone's fault... outside influences. by luck we found a someone who'd gone through the same troubles in their life. Having been there and back and gotten the t-shirt, I personally believe that every couple should be in counselling at all times, sort of as a preventative maintenance thing... get the oil changed regularly? Have blood work done every year? Spend an hour every so often checking up on the ole relationship. Mor eoften when there are troubles.


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## the_diyr (Sep 16, 2009)

Well the wife is a little hot this morning.. Seems someone forgot to pay the electric bill.. YEP it was me .. I got my first Entergy late notice today .. Wow .. I never get late notices.. LOL.. Anyway I have to put my speaker projects on hold for a few days .. Entergy got me this month for a whopping 325.00 dollars .. Man one of these days I am going to buy some solar panels... ( May be my next DIY project )


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## panaman (Dec 16, 2008)

the_diyr said:


> Well the wife is a little hot this morning.. Seems someone forgot to pay the electric bill.. YEP it was me .. I got my first Entergy late notice today .. Wow .. I never get late notices.. LOL.. Anyway I have to put my speaker projects on hold for a few days .. Entergy got me this month for a whopping 325.00 dollars .. Man one of these days I am going to buy some solar panels... ( May be my next DIY project )


I'm with ya.... my entire house is run off electricity... i would love to put solar panels on the roof


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## Andysu (May 8, 2008)

Marry someone who shares the same common grounds of interests otherwise it wont work out between the two of you.addle:

I’m married to my JBL speakers and nothing or no one is going to come between us.:yay2:


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## salvasol (Oct 31, 2006)

Andysu said:


> I’m married to my JBL speakers and nothing or no one is going to come between us.:yay2:


Are you sure???? ..........What about other JBL's???? :whistling:


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## BrianAbington (Mar 19, 2008)

counselors can do alot of good. However the one my wife and I went to told us opposite things, she told me how she saw what I desired for our relationship and my heart and said she thought we could work things out....while she was telling my wife that she should leave me and she didn't think that it was to early in our relationship to divorce me.

I was served with divorce papers, however inspite of the things we have both done wrong and how angry she was, and how hurt we both were we are geting back together. Because we focus on each other, and what God wants for us. And we both have a really strong desire for our son to not grow up in two houses.


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## glaufman (Nov 25, 2007)

That stinks. Sorry. To me that clearly was not a good counsellor... One of the things I liked about the one we went to is after he spoke to us individually, we always finished together ... didn't realize it at the time, but it turns out that seems to have been a good gut check if they're saying the same things ... but you'd both have to be alert to it...
We went in fairly alert, my wife has spoke to shrinks before and not really like the 3 or 4 she started with... Truth is, she wanted to go to this one alone, and I insisted on making it a couples thing, because I thought she was going to have a problem with this guy just like the others, and I wanted ot see for myself what she was objecting to...


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## ironglen (Mar 4, 2009)

After hearing what my in-laws received for their professional counseling, I'd be as wary as any other profession: I'd recommend using reliable references rather than picking one in a phone book. In this instance, the husband (loser unemployed unfaithful bum) was granted full pardon while the wife (a bit cooky, but employed and faithful) was repeatedly admonished for being 'tough' on him!!! :coocoo: In this case, it did more harm than good for sure.

I may get hate mail from HTS'ers for this, but you've gotta admit that this is a costly, time intensive, and sometimes room obtrusive hobby, and like the commercials say- PRICELESS!:dumbcrazy:


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## nerdful1 (Dec 5, 2006)

How about if a friend who married into inlaws circle, learned to know this wife of a family member was really kooky, did bad illegal things, always high on something, worse than coasting through stop signs, you may not enjoy her around for turkey dinner, when asked what her job was she is a marriage consular.


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## glaufman (Nov 25, 2007)

ironglen said:


> I'd recommend using reliable references rather than picking one in a phone book.


I'd agree.



nerdful1 said:


> How about if a friend who married into inlaws circle, learned to know this wife of a family member was really kooky, did bad illegal things, always high on something, worse than coasting through stop signs, you may not enjoy her around for turkey dinner, when asked what her job was she is a marriage consular.


I personally do not judge how good someone is at their job by how they handle their personal life. That being said, a counsellor should never be anyone who has ANY connection to or knowledge of the individuals, or their friends/families...


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## spartanstew (May 7, 2009)

When when we were looking to build a house 6 years ago, my wife is the one that said "Make sure there's a room where you can build a dedicated HT". She's a big movie fan.


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## mjg100 (Mar 12, 2008)

Been married for 16 years. I had a small HT setup in my living room when I met my wife. I now have two HT setups. One in in the family room and the other is in a dedicated room. I have always spent what I wanted, except for right now due to the economy. My wife is a stay home mother, but she does do a lot of volunteering. Since I make all of the money she does not say a whole lot. She likes the HT, but she does not love the HT. If it came down to a choice of my HT or my wife I would pick my wife, but she is a very nice person and would not put me in that situation.


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